Monogamy has played an essential role in the progression of mankind. Working together improved the likelihood of survival and reproduction. The division of labor also allowed for the proper care of offspring. But things have changed since our hunter gatherer days. We’re no longer hanging onto our lives. We continue to stress, yes, but for a stable and healthy life in a new and improved society. We no longer focus strictly on survival. But we focus on our own happiness and individuality. We have time to reflect on our life and the people in it. Being monogamous is no longer necessary. Well, being monogamous is not nearly as essential. But finding the perfect match remains to be a goal.
So why does “Monogamy” continue to be a central theme in western culture? Finding our perfect other half. Romance is always a best seller. Whether it be a Disney “Happily ever after”, a cheesy romantic comedy starring Cameron Diaz, or the classic “Romeo and Juliette” love story.
It’s comforting to think that one person can fulfill you for the rest of your life. Someone to cherish you, for your good qualities…and your quirks.
But the thing is, It is too often that one person eventually feels bored, cheats, or files for divorce. Many times in that order. (Ouch!) Divorce rates are at a staggering 40-50% in the US. Approximately 1 in 2 marriages will end in divorce. It is definitely “the norm” for people to go through partners every so often.
It probably doesn’t help that the population continues to rise, making the gene pool all the more interesting. Many fish in the sea as they say.
We are sexual creatures, our sexual curiosity starts during our toddler years and it extends into old age. Many businesses cater to our sexuality. Porn Sites make up a great majority of the internet. Dating websites are very popular and easy to access. Strip clubs never go out of style, and are visited by many married middle aged men. Prostitution is debated to be the oldest profession. And again, typically a great activity for married middle aged men. And how about women’s attire? It’s usually pretty provocative, which by the way is a great way to sexually advertise yourself. Putting yourself on a pretty little platter for a lucky contestant. Doesn’t matter if you have a ring on your finger.
In a nutshell, “Monogamy” is not practiced by most Americans.
Possession and jealousy is pretty evident among people as well. You wouldn’t feel the need to cling onto your partner if you knew that your relationship was “forever”. Statistically speaking. It’s not.
I’m not suggesting that people aren’t capable of loving and being faithful to their partners. But the truth is that most of the time people are not limited to one partner. We try and suppress our animal with marriage and long term relationships, but it usually wiggles its way out.
Most of us settle down with a person eventually. Someone who makes the struggles of life easier, and someone who helps us financially. They may not fulfill all of our needs or wants, but they’re good enough. I’m beginning to think that most people just settle. Maybe we don’t have all the time we need to really find someone who compliments our life the best. Maybe the pressures of marriage and having children drag us into it. With the help of Oxytocin and Vasopressin. These are Hormones responsible for attachment in relationships. Making it incredibly difficult to leave a person.
I’m bombarded with Questions…
Are we fighting our biological need for variety? Or do we just need to find more compatible partners?
What do you think?
The Growlers – Wandering Eyes
“…..these wandering eyes roll on the road”